I Thought I’d Feel Better This Morning…

I don’t.

Deep breath…again…not helping.

Well, I got some great news yesterday. Really, it’s good! I hadn’t blogged about this before, but I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few weeks ago. It’s a painful autoimmune syndrome that doesn’t have a cure. I’ll not bore you with details on that since yesterday I got the good news that all the painful crazy symptoms I’ve been having are probably not fibro at all. I have Celiac disease! Celiac has no cure either, but the good news is that it can totally be controlled by a change in my diet…BIG changes in my diet…

I’m gonna wrap this up right, because I REALLY need to spend time at my Saviour’s feet right now. I NEEDED to type some of this out this morning…to get my thoughts somewhere other than inside my head. I can surrender this! I AM surrendering this! I thank God that there is hopefully relief in sight for me. God is so good to me. He was good when we thought it was fibromyalgia too. He isn’t surprised by any of this and He is right here with me now, ready to walk this road with me…to lead me DOWN this road, in fact. It’s all good…

There is a problem though…part of me doesn’t believe all that. My HEART believes it. But my body is in fight or flight mode and I can’t get it to realize that it doesn’t need to do EITHER! Last night I kept telling myself that I’d feel so much better this morning, after a good night of sleep. I guess that’s part of the problem. That good night of sleep never came. I probably should have just gotten up, gone into another room and let it all out in a big, ugly crying spell. I did cry, but not the ugly cry where you get it all out. I didn’t want to wake Kenny up. But I didn’t want to leave him either. He was stability for me…laying there lightly snoring away. Weird, huh? (uh…not the snoring part, the stability part. Thought I should clear that up.) So I’m going to bring this stuff to Jesus again this morning…beginning with the anxiety that’s a 7 on the Richter scale. I’m gonna bring that, and the gratitude, the fear, and the praise. I’m hopeful that He can tell my body what my heart already knows…that this is a GOOD thing.


2 thoughts on “I Thought I’d Feel Better This Morning…

  1. Love you! You’re going to make it through this. I know you will. Thank you for your testimony in how you’re dealing with this..whether it’s good or bad..I appreciate it. I think all in all you’re handling it just fine. 🙂

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