Yesterday was a very blessed day for me. One of the biggest blessings was that I was able to sit through both morning AND evening services with absolutely NO pain. I have no idea why, other than God, because the day before was NOT a good day with my back. The speaker preached on God’s holiness and I know my Father wanted me to hear it. I was blessed by both messages.
Last night though, when we arrived for the Lord’s Supper (our church does it weekly) I was not in a good frame of mind. I was frustrated, sad, angry…one of those times when anyone we know may have done us wrong or just done wrong in general, and it’s still fresh, ya know? I contemplated if I should even BE there. I know not to be at His table with a wrong heart. But I didn’t want to leave. I had missed it several times recently with my back. I was thinking before the meeting got going about what I should do. I acknowledged my feelings and thought of the message that morning about His holiness. I was praying that He would change the anger I felt to just grief. I was at His table to remember HIM, not me and how I felt. The anger would have prevented me from focusing on Him, because anger is always focused on ourselves and the offense. But as I prayed, He was so faithful! The anger melted into grief, grief over the sins of others. This may not sound like I had proper focus, but it came. The blessing came when I was able to focus on the fact that HE didn’t change. HE was still my Savior! HE was the focus on this time and regardless of any kind of pain I ever would experience in my life, HE WAS WORTHY! He ALONE was, and is, worthy of ALL THE PRAISE! It didn’t matter what MY circumstances were, not at all!
It is SO like our God, when we come to worship Him, and remember His Son for His awesome sacrifice, to bless us in return, isn’t it?