I must admit, I’m not doing a very good job of finding that balance. Samuel is 18 and will probably be out of the house soon. He wants his independence badly. I totally understand. In his quest for it though, it feels like he is pulling away. He doesn’t need me for things like he used to need me. He doesn’t want me to be a helicopter parent and “hover” over him all the time. I’m trying to use wisdom and pull back just the right amount, but I’m not doing a very good job. I got frustrated with him tonight when he asked me to rub his legs…he still has the physical growing pains at times. Instead of being thankful for this time when he DOES need me, I got upset because he doesn’t want me involved MORE. I missed a special time. There is so much more I want to say to him. There is so much more I want to share with him. Time is running out. I haven’t had LONG enough! He is growing in another direction. He’s had enough of my sharing for now. I need to find the balance so that I don’t push him away. One day he will realize he still needs me, right?
This really stinks.
From January 21, 2008